Losing My Sh*t: Mid-week Update!

I was expecting to next write about our Adventures in Sleep Training in another three days, but today was so awesome that I had to give a mid-week update.

Baby Yo-tan woke up this morning around 7:40am (I believe), later than usual (by about an hour), which was nice considering how lousy he had slept last night. He was too cold, which has always been trouble for him, and even as he slept, he kept moving around. Like I said previously, he's been going through a spurt lately and it's been giving him trouble. He's also a little under the weather, poor fellow.

Anyhoo, he was getting quite tired and I started to doubt whether he had woken up at 6:40 or 7:40am, and honestly, I can't recall. Either way, I decided to try to put him for a nap around 10:00am. I've been debating for the last few days how I want to handle his nap times now that he's approaching six months of age. You see, according to my handy-dandy Elizabeth Pantley sleep training book, at about six months of age, babies should have two naps totaling 3-4 hours during the day (one in the late morning, one in mid-afternoon). Prior to being six months old, they should have three naps of at least that much. My husband and I almost burst out laughing at that one... 

But seriously, being that he's 5.5 months now, I realized that he is going to be consolidating what little sleep he gets during his naps into two naps and I'd better get with the proverbial program. So I decided that 10:00am and 2:00pm were good times based on when he wakes up in the morning and when he goes to sleep (we start the bedtime process around 5:30pm, way earlier than with kid #1). Of course, that's assuming that he actually would sleep more than 30 minutes per nap. I thought this might be ... interesting.

I didn't start this "two nap" thing 2.5 weeks ago because he was only five months old and because of his mini naps, but being that I've had a bit of success up until now, I figured today was as good a day as any.

Around 10am, I took him into our room, read him a couple poems from our sleep book, nursed him from both sides (he now unlatches by himself when done), and burped him on my shoulder. I placed him in the bed and he passed out at 10:05am. I didn't count on anything but a half hour nap, as usual.

Yo-tan woke up at noon!!!

What?! Yes, you heard me right. NOON. I kept checking the monitor, expecting to see him stirring, but nope! An almost two hour nap. LOVED IT.

He cried as he awoke, but I think maybe he wasn't feeling great. I gave him lots of hugs and love and he calmed down, back to his happy, chubby, little self.

Around 1:40pm, he started getting a little tired, and though maybe I shouldn't have pushed it, I cuddled him until 1:55pm. We went back to our room, read a couple poems, nursed, and burped. He was sleeping already for ten minutes, but woke up when I placed him in the crib. I did my 5/1, but he fell asleep again but woke up again when put down... the third time I went in, I told my husband, "maybe third time is the charm," but I had truly figured my day's good luck had run out.

I nursed him, burped him, and put him back into bed, patting his tush and shushing him. He finally fell asleep (again) at 2:44pm, and again, I was counting only on a half-hour, especially because he was overtired.

He stirred a half hour into his nap and was uneasy for another forty minutes before he woke up at 3:54pm. Another hour+ nap! Unheard of.

He was a cranky boy again so he got more cuddles, but became very tired, very quickly. I started getting him ready for bed at 5:30pm. I read him his poetry* (now he wants to eat the book along with my face), massaged him with lotion and changed his diaper, gave him medicine, nursed him, sang to him, burped him, and placed him in bed. He woke from his little slumber, rooted/played in bed quietly for a good fifteen minutes, and fell asleep, on his own, by 6:05pm. What a good boy! 

Three weeks ago, that never would have happened.

It's now 10:25pm and he's still sleeping (though stirring a bit). The last few nights, he started giving us back 4-5 hour stretches at the beginning of the night. It's a lovely thing. Unfortunately, tonight my husband wasn't feeling good (Yo-tan got ElyZ sick, who got hubby sick) so I'm the only one awake in my apartment. 

It's quiet. Strange. And a little lonely.

So I'm sitting here, keeping an eye on my baby through my spy monitor, getting ready to brush my teeth and head to sleep (after a dreamfeed).

Wouldn't it be great if Yo-tan followed today's pattern? However it works, I'm grateful for today. The work and discipline over the past two weeks has totally been worth it. Very little crying from baby (or me). Success feels good.


*I decided to change the order of the bedtime routine. I had previously been nursing him prior to reading the poetry book, but the book had become too stimulating for him. As such, I now read the book first and wind down from there; it has worked much better.

Losing my Sh*t (or what caused me to be more strict about sleepytimes): Days 1 and 2

Yesterday Afternoon

After yet another day of crappy napping by my little one, now practically five months old (no more than 2-3 naps per day, each nap lasting maybe 30-40 minutes tops), I was at my wits' end. This had been going on for about two months. My husband was out picking up my oldest from Gan (educational daycare) and I was about to cry. I was exhausted because my baby (Tantan) doesn't sleep great at night (especially the second half of the night) and yesterday was especially bad during daytime hours. I didn't know what else to do and I needed to vent.

I stood up, left my apartment and my building and went outside. Both Tantan and I calmed down in the gorgeous weather (we live in a basement apartment), and I emailed a good friend, a father of six kids. He responded within eight minutes and, as usual, helped me feel much better. It was at that point I posted my feelings on a Facebook mommy group; I got a ridiculous amount of responses, a lot of advice, hugs, and reassurances. Most of it helped me feel better and some of it seemed very helpful.

I decided to institute a change in my sleeping policy for the Little.

Old Routines (which weren't horrible, but weren't working anymore):

I knew he had to fall asleep by himself more often than he was. Currently, his nighttime schedule was: in our darkened bedroom where he sleeps, change his diaper and give him a lotioned massage, put pajamas on and his sleep sack on, give medicine (Zantac). Nurse on one side while singing three short songs (usually when he fell asleep), say a nighttime blessing Sh'ma, read his poetry book, then switch sides and sing the long nighttime song. Unlatch him and put him in his crib, which is when he would occasionally wake up. I'd leave the room. If he cried more than five minutes, I'd go in for a minute or two and calm him down while shushing him and put him down again. I'd repeat the 5/1 until sleeping, but I knew that he shouldn't fall asleep while nursing - it becomes an association my boobs don't need. They ended up hurting WAY too much.

During the day he used to go 2-2.5 hours between naps. I'd wait for signs of tired (rubbing eyes, fussiness, etc) and then go through a much-shortened routine of the above. Then I'd put him in his crib and he'd wake up about a third of the time, driving me nuts. But always, he'd nap no more than 40 minutes (if I was lucky). He'd wake up tired, and then the next two hours were sad/tired with spots of happiness. By the end of the day, he would be so tired (as would I) that I'd be forced to put him to bed by 5:30pm on some nights. That meant he'd wake up by 5am in the morning - rough for me.

It didn't help that he stopped giving me long stretches when he first fell asleep at night. When younger, he used to sleep for 4-7 hours in his first stretch, but after his three-month regression, that stopped. Now he only slept for 2-3 hour batches and the second half of the night was even worse.

I knew that if I fixed the naps during the day, he'd sleep better at night, but nothing seemed to work. I tried rubbing or touching him near the end of his naps in order to restart his sleep cycle, I tried nursing or rocking him back to sleep when he woke up... I tried everything and it only worked twice in a month to get longer naps.

So here's my new bedtime routine (after choosing a logical sounding one from my group) that I started last night:

Night #1:

In our darkened room where he sleeps, change his diaper and give him a lotioned massage, put pajamas on and his sleep sack on, give medicine (Zantac). Nurse on one side while singing, paying attention to when he's done, say the prayer, switch sides, paying attention to when he's done. Unlatch him, sit him on my lap facing out and read him his one poetry book (while he's looking at the book). Hold him upright, on my shoulder, facing me and sing his last song. This gives him a chance to burp, spit up, and have his acid reflux tummy feel better (and he gets to try and eat my face). Last night he burped a bunch and even spit up a little, which surprised me. I didn't realize that he would still have so much air. I then put him in the crib, kiss him on the cheek, and leave. He wasn't sleeping when I left last night; he was watching me. I was certain it wasn't going to work, at least, not right away.

He started kvetching a little and cried a little so I went in after four minutes, picked him up on my shoulder, hummed the same last goodnight song, and put him down again. I left the room. He kvetched one little kvetch, and was quiet. He was sleeping by 6:08pm.

Tantan didn't wake up to nurse until 1:07am.

SEVEN HOURS. Oh my goodness.

The second half of the night wasn't so great. He woke up another 2-3 times and was up at 5am, at which time my husband put him in our Mamaroo rocker in the living room, where he fell asleep until 6:45am.

Day #1:

Naptime Routine:

I had decided to do the 90 minute nap cycle thingy. This meant that he should be napping every ninety minutes (not 2-2.5 hours like he used to). I was told that if I waited for signs of fussiness, he was already overtired. Fantastic. I wasn't sure this would work, but was willing to be a drill sergeant to enforce it. However, in the morning, I was way too tired to stay awake the full 90 minutes and baby fell asleep with me sometime in that time frame. Don't know when it was but he was all smiley when I woke up. So I started naptime for the day at about 10am. I shortened the routine: nursing one side with the short songs, paying attention to when he was done, switched sides. Held him upright on my shoulder while singing the longer song, put him down, kissed him and he watched me leave. He kvetched quietly and fell asleep. I didn't have to go back in.

He napped, as usual, until 10:40-10:45am (the last ten minutes were with me, nursing in bed). Short again, but I know eventually something has to work, right?

Nap #2. His next 90 minutes nap was due for 12:15pm, but he was tired. I could see it. So I changed him, completed the shortened routine, put him down and kissed him. He watched me walk out and he was quiet. Fell asleep by himself by 12:00pm. It's currently 12:41pm and I'm waiting for him to wake up....

He woke up at 12:50pm. A 50-minute nap! I'll take it!

Nap #3 & Bedtime. Fail. I waited an hour and he seemed very tired, so I started the process and he fought it. I tried for over half hour to get him to sleep but he refused. We ended up going for a walk with my husband to get ElyZ from Gan and he started bobbing asleep on our way home. We got home and started bedtime.

He cried after I put him down and I had to go in once... he ended up sleeping by 6:08pm (again!). It's now 8:42pm and the homefront is still quiet.... scratch that. He just woke up.

Le sigh. Tomorrow is another day.

The first eight weeks... or is it twelve?

I used to tell friends who became new mommies that the first month of a new baby was NOT the hardest... the second and third months were the hardest because 1) you no longer had sleep reserves on which to rely; and 2) you were coming down from your high.

My newest little one is seven weeks old and this advice has never been more true, especially now that it is compounded by having an energetic toddler as well. There have been mornings, like this one, where the little TanTan (pronounced with a short 'a') wakes up at 3 or 4am, refusing to sleep any longer in his bed. He then kvetches and cries on and off for the next 2-3 hours until the toddler wakes up, who has decided recently that the best time to wake up for the day is 5:30am (2 hours earlier than usual).

As expected, last month wasn't easy but month #2 hit me pretty hard. In fact, this morning I physically couldn't get out of bed until 11am. And that's saying a lot, considering I have a mild sleep disorder and have gotten accustomed to excessive daytime sleepiness.

Every morning since baby turned three weeks old (when he got on more of a schedule), all I do is grab him, bring him to bed, and nurse him from side to side for a few hours. But TanTan is growing, growing, growing so much that all he's done, for seven weeks, is eat immense amounts, sleep all day, poop, and spit up (thank you, dairy intolerance and acid reflux). He's not nearly as awake as ElyZ was when he was younger; then again, ElyZ only started really growing at 4.5 months. So TanTan literally sucks all the energy out of me on a nightly basis.

What I've been trying to remember, so far unsuccessfully (see my previous blog 'Memories'), is whether it was the second or the third month which was the most difficult. My only consolation is that the second month is almost over, so either it'll now improve or I'm halfway through the worst of it ... sigh.

My saving grace is my husband, who helps take care of the toddler in the morning before he drops him off at Gan and "speaks" for the baby, saying funny things. The light of my life is my crazy, early-rising toddler, ElyZ. He waves and says goodbye on the rough mornings; he comes home from Gan with a huge smile on his angelic face and his blonde hair is getting long and adorably out of control.

And it's not like there's much of a choice in this matter, so I'll just suck it up for another month and start recovering then.

At least he's super cute.


Update: At about 10 weeks, he started being more... reasonable. Granted, his sleep schedule disintegrated (darned three-month regression), but he became more loveable.