It's quiet in my apartment. QUIET. The kind of quiet I almost never get to experience during daylight hours. It's beautiful.
I put my six month old down to sleep a little over an hour ago, and with the exception of the time that he woke up crying, I've been relishing the blissful silence. This is because my husband took my noisy, energetic toddler to an eye doctor appointment (sadly, they're on their way home right now).
It's so quiet in the house that I immediately made myself a coffee and sat down. I don't even want to turn on my Netflix and watch some shows. It's too quiet - why should I ruin it?
I have chicken to make, cookies to bake, laundry to fold, and NONE of it is getting done, nor will it until after bedtime. I'm enjoying this too much to ruin it.
I have emails to return, lessons to learn, Hebrew to practice, and none of it is getting done. Nope. Not ruining this.
I'm just sitting here. Listening to nothing.
Closing my eyes.
Meditating on silence.
It's a beautiful thing.
Showing posts with label mommies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mommies. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 8, 2016
Thursday, June 2, 2016
Losing My Sh*t: One Month
My almost-6-month old baby slept almost three hours during this morning's nap!
Holy cow!
It's working... it's really working! Schedules are a marvelous thing.
Yo-tan got thrown off a bit the past two weeks. He caught a cold (runny nose, cough that developed briefly into croup, extra spit-up/throw up) and that really messed with his sleep. He's also right in the midst of a developmental leap (Wonder Weeks #23-26), so that also messed with naps, but really more so with his nighttime sleep. There's also a small possibility he is teething. He has been gnawing on things incessantly lately, including my finger and my face (always entertaining), and his older brother's first two teeth came in at 6-6.5 months. Lastly, we traveled a bit for the weekend, visiting my in-laws and sleeping at their house Friday night through Sunday morning. WHEW!
But even with all that working against us, we have still been getting better with each passing week. Two weeks ago, I decided that it was just about time to help him graduate from the 90-minute nap method and make the switch from three daily naps to two (six months of age is approximately when that happens). Based on his current sleep cycle, 10am and 2pm seemed to be optimal. Some days work better than others and, logically, as he gets older, it's working better (like today, for example).
Don't get me wrong. We still have thirty minute naps (our second nap today was exactly that long), but I usually get at least one long nap from him daily. He's also gotten much better at falling asleep by himself. This is most likely due to my getting better at not quite nursing him to sleep. Well.... let me explain. When he's ridiculously tired, he'll fall asleep nursing, but before I put him down, I will unlatch him (or he'll now unlatch himself 70% of the time) and pat him on my shoulder before putting him in his crib. He almost always burps, shifts, and rearranges himself on his mattress. He does sort of wake up... whatever it is, it works for us.
Even in the middle of the night, when he wakes up, he doesn't always cry immediately. At times, he will chatter and squeak to himself as he exercises. I'll wake up, listen, and fall in and out of sleep until he decides what he wants to do.
Last night he finally felt better physically (the few nights before were miserable; he was waking up at least every two hours). But last night, Yo-tan only woke up twice (once at 3am, though that might have been due to a power outage which caused the A/C to turn off and the room to heat up), the second time being at 4:35am. Both times he stayed up for at least 20-25 minutes - ugh. He was practicing lifting his body off the mattress.
For some reason, he thinks that 3/4am is the perfect time to practice the precursor to crawling. I don't know why... maybe because it's quiet and no one pesters him to sit, stand, or look cute for the camera.
Whatever the reason, he finally passed out again and slept until 7:40am - in his own bed! It felt wonderful.
I am still putting him to sleep earlier than I did his brother (Yo-tan falls asleep, on average, around 5:45-6pm; his brother used to go to sleep about an hour later), but hey, I'd totally be okay with him waking up around 6:30am-7am. As such, I've been trying to push the baby's bedtime a bit, but he's just not ready for it quite yet, probably due to those annoying thirty minute naps.
Another bonus? His moods! He's a much happier baby... Of course he is; He's sleeping more and is less tired during the day. He smiles even more than he did before and plays/sits/does everything better. His joy is my joy and we both smile and are happier people than we were a month ago.
His original nighttime sleep stretches have gotten increasingly longer as well... he's consistently been giving us 4-4.5, then 5 hours before waking up (which is nice since we'd like to actually go on a date soon without worrying that he'll wake up before our return).
So far, he fell asleep tonight around 6:15pm. It's now 12:20am. Of course I'm getting a little nervous and keep checking the monitor to make sure he's breathing, but all seems well and quiet on the home front.
Yes. Schedules are a marvelous thing.
(Note: he woke up briefly five minutes later and only twice again all night!)
Holy cow!
It's working... it's really working! Schedules are a marvelous thing.
Yo-tan got thrown off a bit the past two weeks. He caught a cold (runny nose, cough that developed briefly into croup, extra spit-up/throw up) and that really messed with his sleep. He's also right in the midst of a developmental leap (Wonder Weeks #23-26), so that also messed with naps, but really more so with his nighttime sleep. There's also a small possibility he is teething. He has been gnawing on things incessantly lately, including my finger and my face (always entertaining), and his older brother's first two teeth came in at 6-6.5 months. Lastly, we traveled a bit for the weekend, visiting my in-laws and sleeping at their house Friday night through Sunday morning. WHEW!
But even with all that working against us, we have still been getting better with each passing week. Two weeks ago, I decided that it was just about time to help him graduate from the 90-minute nap method and make the switch from three daily naps to two (six months of age is approximately when that happens). Based on his current sleep cycle, 10am and 2pm seemed to be optimal. Some days work better than others and, logically, as he gets older, it's working better (like today, for example).
Don't get me wrong. We still have thirty minute naps (our second nap today was exactly that long), but I usually get at least one long nap from him daily. He's also gotten much better at falling asleep by himself. This is most likely due to my getting better at not quite nursing him to sleep. Well.... let me explain. When he's ridiculously tired, he'll fall asleep nursing, but before I put him down, I will unlatch him (or he'll now unlatch himself 70% of the time) and pat him on my shoulder before putting him in his crib. He almost always burps, shifts, and rearranges himself on his mattress. He does sort of wake up... whatever it is, it works for us.
Even in the middle of the night, when he wakes up, he doesn't always cry immediately. At times, he will chatter and squeak to himself as he exercises. I'll wake up, listen, and fall in and out of sleep until he decides what he wants to do.
Last night he finally felt better physically (the few nights before were miserable; he was waking up at least every two hours). But last night, Yo-tan only woke up twice (once at 3am, though that might have been due to a power outage which caused the A/C to turn off and the room to heat up), the second time being at 4:35am. Both times he stayed up for at least 20-25 minutes - ugh. He was practicing lifting his body off the mattress.
For some reason, he thinks that 3/4am is the perfect time to practice the precursor to crawling. I don't know why... maybe because it's quiet and no one pesters him to sit, stand, or look cute for the camera.
Whatever the reason, he finally passed out again and slept until 7:40am - in his own bed! It felt wonderful.
I am still putting him to sleep earlier than I did his brother (Yo-tan falls asleep, on average, around 5:45-6pm; his brother used to go to sleep about an hour later), but hey, I'd totally be okay with him waking up around 6:30am-7am. As such, I've been trying to push the baby's bedtime a bit, but he's just not ready for it quite yet, probably due to those annoying thirty minute naps.
Another bonus? His moods! He's a much happier baby... Of course he is; He's sleeping more and is less tired during the day. He smiles even more than he did before and plays/sits/does everything better. His joy is my joy and we both smile and are happier people than we were a month ago.
His original nighttime sleep stretches have gotten increasingly longer as well... he's consistently been giving us 4-4.5, then 5 hours before waking up (which is nice since we'd like to actually go on a date soon without worrying that he'll wake up before our return).
So far, he fell asleep tonight around 6:15pm. It's now 12:20am. Of course I'm getting a little nervous and keep checking the monitor to make sure he's breathing, but all seems well and quiet on the home front.
Yes. Schedules are a marvelous thing.
(Note: he woke up briefly five minutes later and only twice again all night!)
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
Losing My Sh*t: A One Week Update
I had planned on writing an update each day, but after laughing hysterically at that thought, I realized that wasn't realistic for two reasons: 1) I have two small children, and 2) baby's sleep habits won't change overnight. So here's an overview of what I've done this past week after Days 1 and 2 (original blog post here)...
Nighttime
I've been pretty consistent with the change I made. New routine now consists of: Change Yo-tan's diaper, lotion/massage, pajamas, medicine, nursing both sides with songs, sit him up while reading him a poetry book (how many poems I read depends on how tired he is), then stand up and hold him against my shoulder to allow him to burp and to allow me to shush-shush-shush him. I place him in his crib on his back and whisper to him and leave the room. I then do what I call a "five and one," where I'll let him cry for five minutes, then go in and shush-shush-shush him (on my shoulder) for one minute (a "lovey" minute). Repeat until asleep.
Since I implemented this, he has consistently fallen asleep around 6:07pm... there was a night where it was 5:50pm and a night around 6:20pm, but all-in-all, he's a routine kind of kid (just like his brother ElyZ).
[During nighttime, I'll dreamfeed him upon my going to sleep. He has been waking up every 2-3 hours every night and I nurse him back to sleep. I know that he can sleep a solid 5-7 hours since he's done it several times, but I figure this habit will eventually work itself out as the nap/night situation improves.]
Last night was the most pleasant bedtime I think I've ever had. Let me back up... bedtime was slowly improving even if we still had some crying (two steps forward, one step back), but two nights ago, I was just so tired I let my husband go in during one of the lovey minutes. He knows the drill; he held Yo-tan, shushed him, and put him down again, drowsy but not sleeping. Husband came out and baby was quiet (for about 45 minutes - yay!). That's fine with me since at that point I'm returning him to sleep and not putting him to sleep, if that makes sense.
Overnight he didn't sleep so great, but I realize that was because he was learning/practicing a new skill (at 2am he woke up because he found himself on his TUMMY - a skill that always makes me nervous and sleep poorly). I knew that would affect his sleep for the next two nights but, trust me, I am very excited for this new step since he may sleep better/longer on his tummy!
Last night was amazing. I bathed him (been trying to do that a little more often before bedtime) and went through the routine. Put him in his bed on his back and stayed in the room within eyesight. He was happy... then he'd turn his head to his right (away from me) and glance back at me as if to make sure I was still there. He did this maybe 6-8 times before stopping from being asleep.
It was 6:05pm.
It was so thrilling to have him fall asleep so gently, without crying, that I went over to my husband and told him what happened! JOY!
Granted, Yo-tan didn't sleep great overnight, but, again, it was because of the tummy rolling, as expected. How do I know? Because I would surreptitiously peek over at him whenever he'd squawk.
Note: The past two nights I have tried something new (as part of the training). I don't immediately go to pick him up. I have read the No Cry Sleep Solution book (by Elizabeth Pantley) and while I don't agree with everything, I did choose what I think will work for us. This was one of the things... just because babies make a sound doesn't mean they need you. It simply means they are going through a sleep cycle and have to fall back asleep. So I'd wake up from his kvetch and wait... I think one time I even fell back asleep as he kvetched (helps me ignore him) and it's been working! Eventually I know he'll fall back asleep without the kvetching. And this morning he even woke up on his tummy looking at us... not crying, but just kvetching and chattering to himself (I can deal with that - it's freaking adorable).
Daytime
On Sunday/Mother's Day during the day (thank you husband), I got to nap with baby for 2.5 hours - FELT GREAT! Baby needed it, as did I. Then, later that afternoon, as I followed the same shortened routine (and not letting him fall asleep nursing), he slept for 1.5 hours in his bed! SCORE!
Now, of course, all his other naps have only been around thirty minutes, and there were a few days where I missed the 90 minute window (toddler wanted to play with all of us in bed in the morning) but since I've been applying the Ninety-Minute rule, Yo-tan does fall asleep a lot easier and on his own. I'll take it!
Instead of crying and forcing me to go in ALL.THE.TIME, the little guy will talk to himself and I might have to go in once or twice. That didn't exactly happen yesterday afternoon (it took an hour for him to fall asleep with a lot of crying), but I'm pretty certain that was my fault for trying to put him for his nap too early. Occasionally, ninety minutes of activity is too short for him, but more often than not, I actually start putting him for his nap a wee bit early and it totally works. Unless it's after 3pm... he also doesn't seem to want to start a nap after 3pm... oh well.
TODAY!
Like I said, we woke up on our tummy with a smile and, after grabbing the toddler, we all had playtime together in bed. It was a great morning. I tried putting him to sleep around 9:30am (more than 90 minutes due to playtime) but nothin' doing. He wouldn't sleep and eventually napped in his stroller later, BUT he did quietly chatter to himself in his bed (another positive change).
He woke up from a nap around 12:45pm so around 2:20pm (based on behavior) I started the nap time routine. It was very short and I put him down... I only needed to go in once and then he just, briefly, kvetched before falling quiet. He slept from 2:30-3:15pm, a nice 45 minute nap. I know he's still tired (he's rubbing his eyes and super kvetchy), but whatever. It's still an improvement.
Overall?
I have a much happier baby who is more in control of his own sleep. I don't have to fight with him and get frustrated and pass him off to husband. Additionally, Yo-tan no longer nurses just for the sake of nursing and is actually more likely to cut himself off and unlatch when he's full (bonus!).
Yo-tan's schedule is not perfect by any means, but I am not close to tears anymore. I don't feel anxiety and frustration (that much) at nap times and bedtimes and I don't have to jump out of bed anymore at night simply because he squawks.
Happier baby means happier Ima... which means happier husband and happier family. A win-win. Bring on Week 2!
Nighttime
I've been pretty consistent with the change I made. New routine now consists of: Change Yo-tan's diaper, lotion/massage, pajamas, medicine, nursing both sides with songs, sit him up while reading him a poetry book (how many poems I read depends on how tired he is), then stand up and hold him against my shoulder to allow him to burp and to allow me to shush-shush-shush him. I place him in his crib on his back and whisper to him and leave the room. I then do what I call a "five and one," where I'll let him cry for five minutes, then go in and shush-shush-shush him (on my shoulder) for one minute (a "lovey" minute). Repeat until asleep.
Since I implemented this, he has consistently fallen asleep around 6:07pm... there was a night where it was 5:50pm and a night around 6:20pm, but all-in-all, he's a routine kind of kid (just like his brother ElyZ).
[During nighttime, I'll dreamfeed him upon my going to sleep. He has been waking up every 2-3 hours every night and I nurse him back to sleep. I know that he can sleep a solid 5-7 hours since he's done it several times, but I figure this habit will eventually work itself out as the nap/night situation improves.]
Last night was the most pleasant bedtime I think I've ever had. Let me back up... bedtime was slowly improving even if we still had some crying (two steps forward, one step back), but two nights ago, I was just so tired I let my husband go in during one of the lovey minutes. He knows the drill; he held Yo-tan, shushed him, and put him down again, drowsy but not sleeping. Husband came out and baby was quiet (for about 45 minutes - yay!). That's fine with me since at that point I'm returning him to sleep and not putting him to sleep, if that makes sense.
Overnight he didn't sleep so great, but I realize that was because he was learning/practicing a new skill (at 2am he woke up because he found himself on his TUMMY - a skill that always makes me nervous and sleep poorly). I knew that would affect his sleep for the next two nights but, trust me, I am very excited for this new step since he may sleep better/longer on his tummy!
Last night was amazing. I bathed him (been trying to do that a little more often before bedtime) and went through the routine. Put him in his bed on his back and stayed in the room within eyesight. He was happy... then he'd turn his head to his right (away from me) and glance back at me as if to make sure I was still there. He did this maybe 6-8 times before stopping from being asleep.
It was 6:05pm.
It was so thrilling to have him fall asleep so gently, without crying, that I went over to my husband and told him what happened! JOY!
Granted, Yo-tan didn't sleep great overnight, but, again, it was because of the tummy rolling, as expected. How do I know? Because I would surreptitiously peek over at him whenever he'd squawk.
Note: The past two nights I have tried something new (as part of the training). I don't immediately go to pick him up. I have read the No Cry Sleep Solution book (by Elizabeth Pantley) and while I don't agree with everything, I did choose what I think will work for us. This was one of the things... just because babies make a sound doesn't mean they need you. It simply means they are going through a sleep cycle and have to fall back asleep. So I'd wake up from his kvetch and wait... I think one time I even fell back asleep as he kvetched (helps me ignore him) and it's been working! Eventually I know he'll fall back asleep without the kvetching. And this morning he even woke up on his tummy looking at us... not crying, but just kvetching and chattering to himself (I can deal with that - it's freaking adorable).
Daytime
On Sunday/Mother's Day during the day (thank you husband), I got to nap with baby for 2.5 hours - FELT GREAT! Baby needed it, as did I. Then, later that afternoon, as I followed the same shortened routine (and not letting him fall asleep nursing), he slept for 1.5 hours in his bed! SCORE!
Now, of course, all his other naps have only been around thirty minutes, and there were a few days where I missed the 90 minute window (toddler wanted to play with all of us in bed in the morning) but since I've been applying the Ninety-Minute rule, Yo-tan does fall asleep a lot easier and on his own. I'll take it!
Instead of crying and forcing me to go in ALL.THE.TIME, the little guy will talk to himself and I might have to go in once or twice. That didn't exactly happen yesterday afternoon (it took an hour for him to fall asleep with a lot of crying), but I'm pretty certain that was my fault for trying to put him for his nap too early. Occasionally, ninety minutes of activity is too short for him, but more often than not, I actually start putting him for his nap a wee bit early and it totally works. Unless it's after 3pm... he also doesn't seem to want to start a nap after 3pm... oh well.
TODAY!
Like I said, we woke up on our tummy with a smile and, after grabbing the toddler, we all had playtime together in bed. It was a great morning. I tried putting him to sleep around 9:30am (more than 90 minutes due to playtime) but nothin' doing. He wouldn't sleep and eventually napped in his stroller later, BUT he did quietly chatter to himself in his bed (another positive change).
He woke up from a nap around 12:45pm so around 2:20pm (based on behavior) I started the nap time routine. It was very short and I put him down... I only needed to go in once and then he just, briefly, kvetched before falling quiet. He slept from 2:30-3:15pm, a nice 45 minute nap. I know he's still tired (he's rubbing his eyes and super kvetchy), but whatever. It's still an improvement.
Overall?
I have a much happier baby who is more in control of his own sleep. I don't have to fight with him and get frustrated and pass him off to husband. Additionally, Yo-tan no longer nurses just for the sake of nursing and is actually more likely to cut himself off and unlatch when he's full (bonus!).
Yo-tan's schedule is not perfect by any means, but I am not close to tears anymore. I don't feel anxiety and frustration (that much) at nap times and bedtimes and I don't have to jump out of bed anymore at night simply because he squawks.
Happier baby means happier Ima... which means happier husband and happier family. A win-win. Bring on Week 2!
Friday, January 29, 2016
The first eight weeks... or is it twelve?
I used to tell friends who became new mommies that the first month of a new baby was NOT the hardest... the second and third months were the hardest because 1) you no longer had sleep reserves on which to rely; and 2) you were coming down from your high.
My newest little one is seven weeks old and this advice has never been more true, especially now that it is compounded by having an energetic toddler as well. There have been mornings, like this one, where the little TanTan (pronounced with a short 'a') wakes up at 3 or 4am, refusing to sleep any longer in his bed. He then kvetches and cries on and off for the next 2-3 hours until the toddler wakes up, who has decided recently that the best time to wake up for the day is 5:30am (2 hours earlier than usual).
As expected, last month wasn't easy but month #2 hit me pretty hard. In fact, this morning I physically couldn't get out of bed until 11am. And that's saying a lot, considering I have a mild sleep disorder and have gotten accustomed to excessive daytime sleepiness.
Every morning since baby turned three weeks old (when he got on more of a schedule), all I do is grab him, bring him to bed, and nurse him from side to side for a few hours. But TanTan is growing, growing, growing so much that all he's done, for seven weeks, is eat immense amounts, sleep all day, poop, and spit up (thank you, dairy intolerance and acid reflux). He's not nearly as awake as ElyZ was when he was younger; then again, ElyZ only started really growing at 4.5 months. So TanTan literally sucks all the energy out of me on a nightly basis.
What I've been trying to remember, so far unsuccessfully (see my previous blog 'Memories'), is whether it was the second or the third month which was the most difficult. My only consolation is that the second month is almost over, so either it'll now improve or I'm halfway through the worst of it ... sigh.
My saving grace is my husband, who helps take care of the toddler in the morning before he drops him off at Gan and "speaks" for the baby, saying funny things. The light of my life is my crazy, early-rising toddler, ElyZ. He waves and says goodbye on the rough mornings; he comes home from Gan with a huge smile on his angelic face and his blonde hair is getting long and adorably out of control.
And it's not like there's much of a choice in this matter, so I'll just suck it up for another month and start recovering then.
At least he's super cute.
Update: At about 10 weeks, he started being more... reasonable. Granted, his sleep schedule disintegrated (darned three-month regression), but he became more loveable.
My newest little one is seven weeks old and this advice has never been more true, especially now that it is compounded by having an energetic toddler as well. There have been mornings, like this one, where the little TanTan (pronounced with a short 'a') wakes up at 3 or 4am, refusing to sleep any longer in his bed. He then kvetches and cries on and off for the next 2-3 hours until the toddler wakes up, who has decided recently that the best time to wake up for the day is 5:30am (2 hours earlier than usual).
As expected, last month wasn't easy but month #2 hit me pretty hard. In fact, this morning I physically couldn't get out of bed until 11am. And that's saying a lot, considering I have a mild sleep disorder and have gotten accustomed to excessive daytime sleepiness.
Every morning since baby turned three weeks old (when he got on more of a schedule), all I do is grab him, bring him to bed, and nurse him from side to side for a few hours. But TanTan is growing, growing, growing so much that all he's done, for seven weeks, is eat immense amounts, sleep all day, poop, and spit up (thank you, dairy intolerance and acid reflux). He's not nearly as awake as ElyZ was when he was younger; then again, ElyZ only started really growing at 4.5 months. So TanTan literally sucks all the energy out of me on a nightly basis.
What I've been trying to remember, so far unsuccessfully (see my previous blog 'Memories'), is whether it was the second or the third month which was the most difficult. My only consolation is that the second month is almost over, so either it'll now improve or I'm halfway through the worst of it ... sigh.
My saving grace is my husband, who helps take care of the toddler in the morning before he drops him off at Gan and "speaks" for the baby, saying funny things. The light of my life is my crazy, early-rising toddler, ElyZ. He waves and says goodbye on the rough mornings; he comes home from Gan with a huge smile on his angelic face and his blonde hair is getting long and adorably out of control.
And it's not like there's much of a choice in this matter, so I'll just suck it up for another month and start recovering then.
At least he's super cute.
Update: At about 10 weeks, he started being more... reasonable. Granted, his sleep schedule disintegrated (darned three-month regression), but he became more loveable.
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