I had planned on writing an update each day, but after laughing hysterically at that thought, I realized that wasn't realistic for two reasons: 1) I have two small children, and 2) baby's sleep habits won't change overnight. So here's an overview of what I've done this past week after Days 1 and 2 (original blog post here)...
Nighttime
I've been pretty consistent with the change I made. New routine now consists of: Change Yo-tan's diaper, lotion/massage, pajamas, medicine, nursing both sides with songs, sit him up while reading him a poetry book (how many poems I read depends on how tired he is), then stand up and hold him against my shoulder to allow him to burp and to allow me to shush-shush-shush him. I place him in his crib on his back and whisper to him and leave the room. I then do what I call a "five and one," where I'll let him cry for five minutes, then go in and shush-shush-shush him (on my shoulder) for one minute (a "lovey" minute). Repeat until asleep.
Since I implemented this, he has consistently fallen asleep around 6:07pm... there was a night where it was 5:50pm and a night around 6:20pm, but all-in-all, he's a routine kind of kid (just like his brother ElyZ).
[During nighttime, I'll dreamfeed him upon my going to sleep. He has been waking up every 2-3 hours every night and I nurse him back to sleep. I know that he can sleep a solid 5-7 hours since he's done it several times, but I figure this habit will eventually work itself out as the nap/night situation improves.]
Last night was the most pleasant bedtime I think I've ever had. Let me back up... bedtime was slowly improving even if we still had some crying (two steps forward, one step back), but two nights ago, I was just so tired I let my husband go in during one of the lovey minutes. He knows the drill; he held Yo-tan, shushed him, and put him down again, drowsy but not sleeping. Husband came out and baby was quiet (for about 45 minutes - yay!). That's fine with me since at that point I'm returning him to sleep and not putting him to sleep, if that makes sense.
Overnight he didn't sleep so great, but I realize that was because he was learning/practicing a new skill (at 2am he woke up because he found himself on his TUMMY - a skill that always makes me nervous and sleep poorly). I knew that would affect his sleep for the next two nights but, trust me, I am very excited for this new step since he may sleep better/longer on his tummy!
Last night was amazing. I bathed him (been trying to do that a little more often before bedtime) and went through the routine. Put him in his bed on his back and stayed in the room within eyesight. He was happy... then he'd turn his head to his right (away from me) and glance back at me as if to make sure I was still there. He did this maybe 6-8 times before stopping from being asleep.
It was 6:05pm.
It was so thrilling to have him fall asleep so gently, without crying, that I went over to my husband and told him what happened! JOY!
Granted, Yo-tan didn't sleep great overnight, but, again, it was because of the tummy rolling, as expected. How do I know? Because I would surreptitiously peek over at him whenever he'd squawk.
Note: The past two nights I have tried something new (as part of the training). I don't immediately go to pick him up. I have read the No Cry Sleep Solution book (by Elizabeth Pantley) and while I don't agree with everything, I did choose what I think will work for us. This was one of the things... just because babies make a sound doesn't mean they need you. It simply means they are going through a sleep cycle and have to fall back asleep. So I'd wake up from his kvetch and wait... I think one time I even fell back asleep as he kvetched (helps me ignore him) and it's been working! Eventually I know he'll fall back asleep without the kvetching. And this morning he even woke up on his tummy looking at us... not crying, but just kvetching and chattering to himself (I can deal with that - it's freaking adorable).
Daytime
On Sunday/Mother's Day during the day (thank you husband), I got to nap with baby for 2.5 hours - FELT GREAT! Baby needed it, as did I. Then, later that afternoon, as I followed the same shortened routine (and not letting him fall asleep nursing), he slept for 1.5 hours in his bed! SCORE!
Now, of course, all his other naps have only been around thirty minutes, and there were a few days where I missed the 90 minute window (toddler wanted to play with all of us in bed in the morning) but since I've been applying the Ninety-Minute rule, Yo-tan does fall asleep a lot easier and on his own. I'll take it!
Instead of crying and forcing me to go in ALL.THE.TIME, the little guy will talk to himself and I might have to go in once or twice. That didn't exactly happen yesterday afternoon (it took an hour for him to fall asleep with a lot of crying), but I'm pretty certain that was my fault for trying to put him for his nap too early. Occasionally, ninety minutes of activity is too short for him, but more often than not, I actually start putting him for his nap a wee bit early and it totally works. Unless it's after 3pm... he also doesn't seem to want to start a nap after 3pm... oh well.
TODAY!
Like I said, we woke up on our tummy with a smile and, after grabbing the toddler, we all had playtime together in bed. It was a great morning. I tried putting him to sleep around 9:30am (more than 90 minutes due to playtime) but nothin' doing. He wouldn't sleep and eventually napped in his stroller later, BUT he did quietly chatter to himself in his bed (another positive change).
He woke up from a nap around 12:45pm so around 2:20pm (based on behavior) I started the nap time routine. It was very short and I put him down... I only needed to go in once and then he just, briefly, kvetched before falling quiet. He slept from 2:30-3:15pm, a nice 45 minute nap. I know he's still tired (he's rubbing his eyes and super kvetchy), but whatever. It's still an improvement.
Overall?
I have a much happier baby who is more in control of his own sleep. I don't have to fight with him and get frustrated and pass him off to husband. Additionally, Yo-tan no longer nurses just for the sake of nursing and is actually more likely to cut himself off and unlatch when he's full (bonus!).
Yo-tan's schedule is not perfect by any means, but I am not close to tears anymore. I don't feel anxiety and frustration (that much) at nap times and bedtimes and I don't have to jump out of bed anymore at night simply because he squawks.
Happier baby means happier Ima... which means happier husband and happier family. A win-win. Bring on Week 2!
Showing posts with label naptime. Show all posts
Showing posts with label naptime. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
Wednesday, May 4, 2016
Losing my Sh*t (or what caused me to be more strict about sleepytimes): Days 1 and 2
Yesterday Afternoon
After yet another day of crappy napping by my little one, now practically five months old (no more than 2-3 naps per day, each nap lasting maybe 30-40 minutes tops), I was at my wits' end. This had been going on for about two months. My husband was out picking up my oldest from Gan (educational daycare) and I was about to cry. I was exhausted because my baby (Tantan) doesn't sleep great at night (especially the second half of the night) and yesterday was especially bad during daytime hours. I didn't know what else to do and I needed to vent.
I stood up, left my apartment and my building and went outside. Both Tantan and I calmed down in the gorgeous weather (we live in a basement apartment), and I emailed a good friend, a father of six kids. He responded within eight minutes and, as usual, helped me feel much better. It was at that point I posted my feelings on a Facebook mommy group; I got a ridiculous amount of responses, a lot of advice, hugs, and reassurances. Most of it helped me feel better and some of it seemed very helpful.
I decided to institute a change in my sleeping policy for the Little.
Old Routines (which weren't horrible, but weren't working anymore):
I knew he had to fall asleep by himself more often than he was. Currently, his nighttime schedule was: in our darkened bedroom where he sleeps, change his diaper and give him a lotioned massage, put pajamas on and his sleep sack on, give medicine (Zantac). Nurse on one side while singing three short songs (usually when he fell asleep), say a nighttime blessing Sh'ma, read his poetry book, then switch sides and sing the long nighttime song. Unlatch him and put him in his crib, which is when he would occasionally wake up. I'd leave the room. If he cried more than five minutes, I'd go in for a minute or two and calm him down while shushing him and put him down again. I'd repeat the 5/1 until sleeping, but I knew that he shouldn't fall asleep while nursing - it becomes an association my boobs don't need. They ended up hurting WAY too much.
During the day he used to go 2-2.5 hours between naps. I'd wait for signs of tired (rubbing eyes, fussiness, etc) and then go through a much-shortened routine of the above. Then I'd put him in his crib and he'd wake up about a third of the time, driving me nuts. But always, he'd nap no more than 40 minutes (if I was lucky). He'd wake up tired, and then the next two hours were sad/tired with spots of happiness. By the end of the day, he would be so tired (as would I) that I'd be forced to put him to bed by 5:30pm on some nights. That meant he'd wake up by 5am in the morning - rough for me.
It didn't help that he stopped giving me long stretches when he first fell asleep at night. When younger, he used to sleep for 4-7 hours in his first stretch, but after his three-month regression, that stopped. Now he only slept for 2-3 hour batches and the second half of the night was even worse.
I knew that if I fixed the naps during the day, he'd sleep better at night, but nothing seemed to work. I tried rubbing or touching him near the end of his naps in order to restart his sleep cycle, I tried nursing or rocking him back to sleep when he woke up... I tried everything and it only worked twice in a month to get longer naps.
So here's my new bedtime routine (after choosing a logical sounding one from my group) that I started last night:
Night #1:
In our darkened room where he sleeps, change his diaper and give him a lotioned massage, put pajamas on and his sleep sack on, give medicine (Zantac). Nurse on one side while singing, paying attention to when he's done, say the prayer, switch sides, paying attention to when he's done. Unlatch him, sit him on my lap facing out and read him his one poetry book (while he's looking at the book). Hold him upright, on my shoulder, facing me and sing his last song. This gives him a chance to burp, spit up, and have his acid reflux tummy feel better (and he gets to try and eat my face). Last night he burped a bunch and even spit up a little, which surprised me. I didn't realize that he would still have so much air. I then put him in the crib, kiss him on the cheek, and leave. He wasn't sleeping when I left last night; he was watching me. I was certain it wasn't going to work, at least, not right away.
He started kvetching a little and cried a little so I went in after four minutes, picked him up on my shoulder, hummed the same last goodnight song, and put him down again. I left the room. He kvetched one little kvetch, and was quiet. He was sleeping by 6:08pm.
Tantan didn't wake up to nurse until 1:07am.
SEVEN HOURS. Oh my goodness.
The second half of the night wasn't so great. He woke up another 2-3 times and was up at 5am, at which time my husband put him in our Mamaroo rocker in the living room, where he fell asleep until 6:45am.
Day #1:
Naptime Routine:
I had decided to do the 90 minute nap cycle thingy. This meant that he should be napping every ninety minutes (not 2-2.5 hours like he used to). I was told that if I waited for signs of fussiness, he was already overtired. Fantastic. I wasn't sure this would work, but was willing to be a drill sergeant to enforce it. However, in the morning, I was way too tired to stay awake the full 90 minutes and baby fell asleep with me sometime in that time frame. Don't know when it was but he was all smiley when I woke up. So I started naptime for the day at about 10am. I shortened the routine: nursing one side with the short songs, paying attention to when he was done, switched sides. Held him upright on my shoulder while singing the longer song, put him down, kissed him and he watched me leave. He kvetched quietly and fell asleep. I didn't have to go back in.
He napped, as usual, until 10:40-10:45am (the last ten minutes were with me, nursing in bed). Short again, but I know eventually something has to work, right?
Nap #2. His next 90 minutes nap was due for 12:15pm, but he was tired. I could see it. So I changed him, completed the shortened routine, put him down and kissed him. He watched me walk out and he was quiet. Fell asleep by himself by 12:00pm. It's currently 12:41pm and I'm waiting for him to wake up....
He woke up at 12:50pm. A 50-minute nap! I'll take it!
Nap #3 & Bedtime. Fail. I waited an hour and he seemed very tired, so I started the process and he fought it. I tried for over half hour to get him to sleep but he refused. We ended up going for a walk with my husband to get ElyZ from Gan and he started bobbing asleep on our way home. We got home and started bedtime.
He cried after I put him down and I had to go in once... he ended up sleeping by 6:08pm (again!). It's now 8:42pm and the homefront is still quiet.... scratch that. He just woke up.
Le sigh. Tomorrow is another day.
After yet another day of crappy napping by my little one, now practically five months old (no more than 2-3 naps per day, each nap lasting maybe 30-40 minutes tops), I was at my wits' end. This had been going on for about two months. My husband was out picking up my oldest from Gan (educational daycare) and I was about to cry. I was exhausted because my baby (Tantan) doesn't sleep great at night (especially the second half of the night) and yesterday was especially bad during daytime hours. I didn't know what else to do and I needed to vent.
I stood up, left my apartment and my building and went outside. Both Tantan and I calmed down in the gorgeous weather (we live in a basement apartment), and I emailed a good friend, a father of six kids. He responded within eight minutes and, as usual, helped me feel much better. It was at that point I posted my feelings on a Facebook mommy group; I got a ridiculous amount of responses, a lot of advice, hugs, and reassurances. Most of it helped me feel better and some of it seemed very helpful.
I decided to institute a change in my sleeping policy for the Little.
Old Routines (which weren't horrible, but weren't working anymore):
I knew he had to fall asleep by himself more often than he was. Currently, his nighttime schedule was: in our darkened bedroom where he sleeps, change his diaper and give him a lotioned massage, put pajamas on and his sleep sack on, give medicine (Zantac). Nurse on one side while singing three short songs (usually when he fell asleep), say a nighttime blessing Sh'ma, read his poetry book, then switch sides and sing the long nighttime song. Unlatch him and put him in his crib, which is when he would occasionally wake up. I'd leave the room. If he cried more than five minutes, I'd go in for a minute or two and calm him down while shushing him and put him down again. I'd repeat the 5/1 until sleeping, but I knew that he shouldn't fall asleep while nursing - it becomes an association my boobs don't need. They ended up hurting WAY too much.
During the day he used to go 2-2.5 hours between naps. I'd wait for signs of tired (rubbing eyes, fussiness, etc) and then go through a much-shortened routine of the above. Then I'd put him in his crib and he'd wake up about a third of the time, driving me nuts. But always, he'd nap no more than 40 minutes (if I was lucky). He'd wake up tired, and then the next two hours were sad/tired with spots of happiness. By the end of the day, he would be so tired (as would I) that I'd be forced to put him to bed by 5:30pm on some nights. That meant he'd wake up by 5am in the morning - rough for me.
It didn't help that he stopped giving me long stretches when he first fell asleep at night. When younger, he used to sleep for 4-7 hours in his first stretch, but after his three-month regression, that stopped. Now he only slept for 2-3 hour batches and the second half of the night was even worse.
I knew that if I fixed the naps during the day, he'd sleep better at night, but nothing seemed to work. I tried rubbing or touching him near the end of his naps in order to restart his sleep cycle, I tried nursing or rocking him back to sleep when he woke up... I tried everything and it only worked twice in a month to get longer naps.
So here's my new bedtime routine (after choosing a logical sounding one from my group) that I started last night:
Night #1:
In our darkened room where he sleeps, change his diaper and give him a lotioned massage, put pajamas on and his sleep sack on, give medicine (Zantac). Nurse on one side while singing, paying attention to when he's done, say the prayer, switch sides, paying attention to when he's done. Unlatch him, sit him on my lap facing out and read him his one poetry book (while he's looking at the book). Hold him upright, on my shoulder, facing me and sing his last song. This gives him a chance to burp, spit up, and have his acid reflux tummy feel better (and he gets to try and eat my face). Last night he burped a bunch and even spit up a little, which surprised me. I didn't realize that he would still have so much air. I then put him in the crib, kiss him on the cheek, and leave. He wasn't sleeping when I left last night; he was watching me. I was certain it wasn't going to work, at least, not right away.
He started kvetching a little and cried a little so I went in after four minutes, picked him up on my shoulder, hummed the same last goodnight song, and put him down again. I left the room. He kvetched one little kvetch, and was quiet. He was sleeping by 6:08pm.
Tantan didn't wake up to nurse until 1:07am.
SEVEN HOURS. Oh my goodness.
The second half of the night wasn't so great. He woke up another 2-3 times and was up at 5am, at which time my husband put him in our Mamaroo rocker in the living room, where he fell asleep until 6:45am.
Day #1:
Naptime Routine:
I had decided to do the 90 minute nap cycle thingy. This meant that he should be napping every ninety minutes (not 2-2.5 hours like he used to). I was told that if I waited for signs of fussiness, he was already overtired. Fantastic. I wasn't sure this would work, but was willing to be a drill sergeant to enforce it. However, in the morning, I was way too tired to stay awake the full 90 minutes and baby fell asleep with me sometime in that time frame. Don't know when it was but he was all smiley when I woke up. So I started naptime for the day at about 10am. I shortened the routine: nursing one side with the short songs, paying attention to when he was done, switched sides. Held him upright on my shoulder while singing the longer song, put him down, kissed him and he watched me leave. He kvetched quietly and fell asleep. I didn't have to go back in.
He napped, as usual, until 10:40-10:45am (the last ten minutes were with me, nursing in bed). Short again, but I know eventually something has to work, right?
Nap #2. His next 90 minutes nap was due for 12:15pm, but he was tired. I could see it. So I changed him, completed the shortened routine, put him down and kissed him. He watched me walk out and he was quiet. Fell asleep by himself by 12:00pm. It's currently 12:41pm and I'm waiting for him to wake up....
He woke up at 12:50pm. A 50-minute nap! I'll take it!
Nap #3 & Bedtime. Fail. I waited an hour and he seemed very tired, so I started the process and he fought it. I tried for over half hour to get him to sleep but he refused. We ended up going for a walk with my husband to get ElyZ from Gan and he started bobbing asleep on our way home. We got home and started bedtime.
He cried after I put him down and I had to go in once... he ended up sleeping by 6:08pm (again!). It's now 8:42pm and the homefront is still quiet.... scratch that. He just woke up.
Le sigh. Tomorrow is another day.
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